


It Has Been 957 Days Since My Incarceration

by Rayvah



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-13
Updated: 2013-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-08 08:04:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/759030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rayvah/pseuds/Rayvah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Belle is part of a team doing a test run on a star ship that gets lost on its mission. While facing the dangers of deep space they run into danger they can't make their own way out of. Not without making a deal. (Inspired by my love of Star Trek: Voyager, but not a crossover)</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Has Been 957 Days Since My Incarceration

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FEAR-CUTS-DEEPERTHANSWORDS](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=FEAR-CUTS-DEEPERTHANSWORDS).



> This plot bunny appeared in my head after watching a lot of Star Trek: Voyager

**One:**

It has been 957 days since my incarceration. I think. I don't have a real way to measure time - only by when I feel it's time to sleep, and my cycle - which has long ceased to be regular. I haven't even had anything to write with, until now. One of the guards (whom I haven't seen since I was put in here) took pity on me, maybe, and gave me this parchment and pen. They just appeared in the slot my clothes come through. Then again, it could have come from her. A ploy to get in my head. However, I don't think there is anything I can tell her she doesn't already know.

It's strange - writing on paper. Lucky for me I've always been interested in our people's history or I wouldn't have known what to do with it. It's much slower than making entries into a console, and I am unpracticed. However, it feels more organic. Like writing poetry.

**Two:**

Writing this keeps my mind awake. I dare say, it keeps me sane. If it wasn't this, I would be staring at the blank white walls of my room. There is a soft area of the floor in the corner where I sleep, but it looks no different from the rest of the room. I happened across it by mistake. The wall opens when I press my hand against it, providing food and a place to relieve myself. Everything is well lit, and white, like the clothes I've been given. I know she must watch me, but as much as I've stared at the walls I can't figure out from where.

**Three:**

I don't understand what I've done to deserve being here. Is it just my association with Rumplestiltskin? Of course it must be. I'm nobody important. It must make her so mad to have to keep me here, care for me, when I can't seem to give her what she wants. The idea makes me smile. Not much does.

**Four:**

I must write. I must write or I will forget. Forget that it was real. I know she might look but I don't want to lose Rumplestiltskin again.

The ship I fly with - The Phoenix - was never supposed to be in the area of the universe he found us in. Phoenix was designed to be a seed ship to a planet in a nearby star system. The passengers who had been assigned were going to leave Earth forever - start another colony far away. The closest planet found that might support life was Gliese. Fifty light years. Close, but those on board would never see this world again. They were pioneers.

We were just taking it for a test drive.

When the wormhole opened nobody knew what to do. Phoenix's engines weren't strong enough to resist the pull of the phenomena. It sucked us in. To be honest, I don't remember much of how it happened. The ship shook. I thought we were going to fall apart. Then the lights went out, but there was still color drifting all around, and I felt like I was floating. I've never died, but at the time I thought that's what it might feel like.

Suddenly it stopped - and I was sitting on the ground with all the lights on. Nothing was damaged, or looked any different. Trying to contact base, however, revealed that we were more than 8 billion light-years away, near as we could calculate.

The crew that had been testing the craft for it's space worthiness were few. Not many more than the minimal amount called for under Safety Protocol 409.7. I myself was only there in a service capacity, as a caretaker for the working crew. My double major was in Anthropology and Psychology, and I'd been chosen to accompany those on the ship during their trial run as an observer. An amazing opportunity. I wanted more than anything to be a passenger - to fly far away from this world to another unseen by human eyes, untouched by human hands. You had to be far more qualified to actually be assigned a spot on the main voyage.

Lucky me.

First, there was panic - as you might imagine. Then, those on board began to focus on what they knew. Keeping the ship running, making sure we could survive on the few supplies we had. I had no such focus. I tried to help with what I could, but I was dead weight and I knew it.

But, oh - the stars were beautiful.

With rationing, and commandeering various plant seeds that had been already sealed up for the main voyage of Phoenix - we managed. I even found a place for myself, overseeing the 'gardens' where we grew our seeds. It wasn't rocket science. That's what everyone else was doing.

We flew for months that way. Some people wanted to stay where we were - maybe the wormhole would open again and we could return home the same way we'd come. Others wanted to move forward, maybe look for a planet we could live on. And still others contemplated going into stasis. Waking up only when The Phoenix had found a place we could thrive -- or maybe never waking up at all.

After a few weeks, those among us who had wanted to move forward instead of staying won out. Moving, though, even in an environment where there should be plenty of space (haha!) we managed to run into danger.

Most of it we were able to circumvent. Asteroids, gaseous pockets that began to eat away at our hull, supply shortages. No other life, anywhere. Until we hit the Wall.

It was very strange. Drifting along, no obstacles in sight, when suddenly we stopped. The engines worked, the ship would even move forward a bit, but then snap back into place - like we were caught in some giant invisible web. There was nothing wrong with the ship. It was checked a hundred times over. Someone was even sent outside to see if they could see anything with human eyes that a computer might miss. Nothing. It was like magic.

A few days of this and the crew were in a panic. Even if we were on the other side of the universe, at least we could move before. At least we had control. That's how most people saw it. I didn't see how one unimaginably catastrophic situation differed much from another.

I wasn't actually there the first time Rumplestiltskin came for me. Information I gathered from my crew-mates who were witnesses helped me piece it together afterward.

Our self appointed captain was on the bridge, trying to keep people calm, give orders - when he appeared. Just as if he had materialized from the interstellar medium outside. He mocked the people on the bridge for ending up in such a bind. Of course he did. No one seems to remember what it was he said exactly, and for that I'm sorry. I wish I could have been there, the first time he came.

He said we had flown into a magnetic web, a creation made by the opposing pulls of two powerful black holes. He said we would never free ourselves from it -- unless we cared to make a deal with him.

He wanted a human life in exchange for his assistant. A crew member to go with him. But not just any crew member. He wanted "the girl that keeps the little gardens". Our well meaning captain refused outright. She had taken the responsibility of caring for her people seriously. Rumplestiltskin felt I should be asked myself.

Cue me. One moment I was in the conservatory, and the next on the bridge.

I can't tell you much of what I was thinking those first few moments, suddenly appearing there, my arm still raised to tend a plant that was no longer in front of me. I was too shocked. I did have one brief thought -- and it was that I might have fallen asleep. Some of the elements seemed to suggest that. Sudden changes in scenery. Being the focal point for every gaze. A very strange looking man perched on the console across the room.

"You don't need to ask her. The answer is still no." Our captain's voice, to my left. I remember having to make myself lower my arm, finding it strange that it had just stayed in place during my moments of astonishment. I turned my head slowly toward her, reluctantly looking away from the creature in the room - unsure if that was wise.

"What?"

I know you'll say that's not a very intelligent response, but it was a confusing situation.

She frowned, and her expression was closed off - like she was reluctant to tell me something. A movement from the corner of my eye drew my gaze back to the man, who had slithered down from his 'seat', and began to walk toward me. He was green and brown and gold all rolled together. His clothes looked to be of leather. He was humanoid, which I never assumed would be the case if we found an alien. His eyes, though, were predatory. Reptilian. I backed away. I remember backing away.

"You know your ship is trapped. And what you've gotten yourselves caught in is quite the doozie."

"I - I know that." I stared. I don't think I blinked. I know he didn't.

"The only way out of this little mess is through me." I waited. There was something left unsaid, I knew it.

The captain sighed, resigned. "He says if we let him take you, he'll free us of it. I told him no."

"What?" I wasn't able to form a proper reply. I could only let my stunned gaze flick back and forth between the alien who kept looking at me, and my captain who refused to.

"I'll do you one better, dearie." My eyes settled on him as he took a few more steps forward, inches away, now. I didn't move back this time. "If you come with me willingly, I'll not only free your ship from this trap, but I'll send them all back home - where they belong." He grinned, revealing ghastly teeth.

A hundred questions were in my head at that moment. _Why me? Where did you come from? How can you help us?_ Only one question seemed more important than any of the others.

"Who are you?"

A slight bow.

"My name is Rumplestiltskin."

**Five:**

My hand is tired today, and I can't write anymore. I'm woefully out of practice with this form of entry.

**Six:**

She came to see me yesterday. Herself. It's the first time I've seen her or anyone since I was locked up in here. I thought I was holding onto my sanity, but I've had to rethink. When she entered, all I could see was that she was dressed head to toe in black. So much black it flowed behind her, bled from her. I haven't seen any color but the white of my room and my own skin since I've been here. It frightened me and I don't know why. I just huddled away from her in the corner like an animal, thinking:

_If anyone saw us - just now, just right now - they would believe I was insane._

She regarded me silently, then leaned down to pick up my papers. I tried to protest but she just turned and marched out, the door once again sliding shut seamlessly behind her. I didn't know if I was glad or upset she was gone. I was alone again with the white walls.

I thought that was the end of it. No more writing. Good. Bad. If I didn't write I wouldn't give anything else away to her. I would go mad.

Today there was more paper.

**Seven:**

He gave me several days to answer him. Of course there wasn't much to consider, and he knew it - but the delay seemed to amuse him. I wasn't surprised we'd run into an anomaly we couldn't puzzle our way out of. I was surprised it hadn't happened sooner. I alone was convinced we were probably never going home. We would die, maybe. Of old age, or some other danger like the black holes that now held us. I wasn't desolate - simply accepting. Logically, it was the most likely outcome. Poetic justice, then, that the only one who wouldn't make it home was me.

I think some of the crew thought it was right it should be me. I was the one who was just another mouth to feed, and at times when supplies ran low, that mattered. I don't resent their thinking - I agreed with them. I wanted to be useful. I wanted to be brave.

He didn't follow me openly, but sometimes when I was alone he would suddenly appear. I knew my answer, but it seemed foolish not to take the time he'd granted me to consider my fate. To figure out who or what this creature was.

"Watering the plants, dearie? It will hardly matter when I send everyone home."  
"It helps me calm down. To think. And I haven't given you my answer yet." _I did not look at him. I continued to tend the plants. His eyes were intense, at times. Disconcerting._  
"Indeed." _Amusement._  
"Why - why did you ask for me?"  
"Well, you're expendable to them, aren't you?"  
"Yes"  
"Not to me."  
"What do you..." _But he was gone when I turned. He was forever doing that._

Being in the conservatory helped, but I knew I should talk to my crew-mates. Say goodbye, at least. Even though I was the civilian on board, we were banded in our struggle. I'd made friends in those months, and we did love each other despite everything. If nothing else comes out of this except that I die in this white room, I can remember that I had friends, and that I saved them.

I said my goodbyes, some tearful, some perfunctory, then returned to my quarters and sat. Waited. I didn't wait for long.

"Have you made your decision?" _He stood in front of me._  
 _I didn't answer immediately._  
"Who are you really?"  
"I believe I already said. It's rather late in the game for introductions."  
"But... how is it you can save us? How were you here just when we were in trouble?"  
"These questions are all inconsequential to me, dear. Is your answer yes or no?"  
 _Stubbornly, I pressed on. I'm very stubborn._  
"Where are you from?"  
"Come see." _He held out his hand to me._  
 _I took it._

Everything else vanished.

**Eight:**

Writing helps me remember. Remembering helps my keep in mind that there are still things outside these blank, unchanging walls.

I have set a schedule for myself, to keep my day in order. I wake, find the place in the wall that reveals the opening where I can meet all my bodily needs. Water comes through a small faucet that activates at touch. Food is dispensed in bar form through a slot. It's not delicious.

I run in place for awhile, and do small laps around my room. It is just large enough for that. Afterward pushups and various strengthening exercises. We developed a routine aboard Phoenix that was designed to keep the human body in prime condition during space travel.

Afterward, I step into a cylindrical tube in the wall that sprays me with soap and water, then sucks the moisture out through a vacuum. It's also the toilet - which seems disgusting, but it works. With no one to instruct me, that one took a few days to figure out.

When I finish washing, I find fresh clothes in one of the drawers. I take them out and replace them with my used ones. Tomorrow, they will be clean again. I don't know if they are the same ones, or always new. At first when I undressed, I wondered if the guards were watching. I felt embarrassed. I don't care anymore.

Before I had the supplies to write, I would sing. I got tired of the sound of my voice, though. It was never very good. In the beginning, I'd tried talking to the walls - convinced someone could hear me. No one ever responded, though. Eventually, I just sat and daydreamed. Philosophized. Wrote stories in my head no one would ever read.

I exercise again before bed, if only for something to do. Like I said, it kept - it keeps my day in order, and it fatigues me. Slumber makes the time pass much more quickly.

I wish they would turn out the lights when I sleep.

**Nine:**

I am not sure where I was expecting him to take me. A strange alien planet, or some otherworldly dimension. As it turned out, it was just another star ship. This one was much more vast than Phoenix, though there didn't seem to be anyone inhabiting it besides us.

"Don't you have a home planet?"  
"But of course."  
"Why don't we go there?"  
"My home is further away than the confines of space and time."  
"That sounds lonely."  
".........."  
"Is that why you brought me here? Because you were lonely?"  
"I'm not looking for company. I needed a caretaker. For my estate."  
"This star ship?"  
"Yes."  
"It's...immense."  
"Best get started then, love. The place is filthy."

In truth, it was not unenjoyable being a maid for Rumplestiltskin in his "castle". My experience with spaceships was that they were sparsely furnished - with most of the area being set aside for supplies and bare living requirements. This ship had rooms that were filled with all manner of paraphernalia. Tables, chairs, cast off ship parts, paintings, jewelry -- things I never thought I would see again away from Earth. More than just a chore, cleaning his home was fascinating. I never knew what I would discover in the next room.

"You have quite a collection, here. Where does it all come from?"  
"Various places - various people. I travel quite often."  
"Some of it looks like it could have come from Earth."  
"Some of it did."  
"So... you've been there?"  
"On occasion."  
"When?"  
"Long ago. Longer than anyone on your little planet would remember."  
"Oh... so, you've lived a very long time?"  
"You ask many questions."  
"You're a very curious man."  
"I'm not a man."  
"What are you then?"  
"A monster."  
"You're not a monster. True monsters wear it on the inside."  
"Don't let this handsome exterior fool you, dearie." _Sarcasm._  
"You've been kind to me."  
"I have a use for you."  
"What is it? Surely not just to organize your things."  
".....and if it were?"  
"I'll finish eventually."  
"............"  
"When I do - will you take me with you on some of your travels?"  
"Perhaps."

He did leave the ship, occasionally, as he said, each time returning with some new treasure. Often, it was put on display in the main room where he spent most of his time - a rather sizable room with a large observation window that was one entire wall. Usually all I could see was blackness out that window, interspersed with bright stars. Sometimes we would pass close to a galaxy or bright galaxy, and it would serve as a humble reminder that no matter how vast this ship seemed, it was small in comparison to what was out there. I loved to sit on the deck when it happened, and Rumplestiltskin didn't seem to mind, though he was off put the first few times.

"This ship is quite a lot faster than Phoenix."  
"I would hope so. That ship got caught in an degenerate star web." _He snorted, as though it were something to be ashamed of._  
"....Is there somewhere we are going? To be traveling so fast."  
 _His derisive expression cleared, a slight frown replacing it._  
"No. Nowhere in particular."  
"Oh. Then, maybe we could slow down when we approach the star systems? I like looking at them, but we pass by so quickly."  
"I'll... see what I can do."  
"Thank you." _I smiled. He always looked startled when I smiled. Like it was an expression he'd never seen before. Maybe it wasn't. I still didn't know much about his kind._  
"So... you leave sometimes, but not always when we are near a planet - and I haven't found any other ways off the ship. How do you do it?"  
 _He relaxed, his eyes losing their rattled look._  
"Oh, you know -- Magic."  
"Magic is just what people call science they don't understand."  
"Is that so?"  
"Yes. Is it an inherent trait of your race?"  
"My race?"  
"Yes, your people. You are an alien, aren't you?"  
 _He was silent for several moments, then began to laugh. I started. I'd never heard him laugh before, other than the occasional amused snort. This was a real laugh, quiet at first, then became louder and so convulsive that he literally could no longer stand. He leaned against the wall, wiping a tear away from his eye in mirth._  
"Rumplestiltskin!"  
 _I stamped my foot, unamused. I didn't like to be thought foolish. He didn't, or couldn't respond. He attempted to calm himself, but a glance at my annoyed expression set him off again. Eventually, I walked out in disgust._

  
 **Ten:**

"Tell me more about the items that you saw when aboard his vessel."

I blinked. She was back. She'd come yesterday for what I'd written, and I assumed it would be as it was before - more paper would be sent to replace what she'd taken - but she was here. Talking to me. The first words I'd heard from another living thing in nearly three years. It had taken me a moment to realize I wasn't hallucinating. A few more to get the meaning of her words.

"Rumplestiltskin?"

"You've been a maid on many a man's ship?"

"...No."

"Then, of course I mean Rumplestiltskin." A sneer colored her expression and voice.

"I... don't remember."

"Try. Tell me something useful, and you'll actually be allowed to leave this room."

"You'll let me go?"

"No, but you won't have to stay locked in here all the time." That offer was so tempting. So very tempting.

"How do I know what would be useful?"

"You talk, and I'll tell you."

"......I don't remember anything."

"I see." She stood, and sauntered towards the open doorway. Stopping, she turned slightly back toward me. "You know he doesn't love you. He isn't capable of it."

I said nothing.

"If he loved you, he wouldn't have let you go."

**Eleven:**

Today was spent exercising. Walking. Thinking. It's enough, I believe. I don't need to write anymore. I don't.

**Twelve:**

I like sitting in the shower, letting the water run over my shoulders. It's lukewarm, always - but the feel against my skin is gentle, and it never gets cold.

**Thirteen:**

"You're not writing anymore."

"I'm writing."

"Don't patronize me. This is nothing." She gestured to the papers in her hand.

"Well, there's nothing more to say, really."

"Nothing at all? It doesn't seem to me like that's the end of your story."

"Why do you care?"

"You seem to be undergoing some misguided attempt to protect him. Why? He threw you out."

"........."

"If you cooperate, I can send you back to your home world. Don't you want to go home?"

"Not particularly. I like it here."

"Well, let's see if we can change that."

**Fourteen:**

The water was cold today. There was no food. No clean clothes. I put on the ones from my exercise again after rinsing them in the shower.

**Fifteen:**

There was a little food today. Not enough. I can't expend any energy on exercise any more, which is just as well since the shower stopped working. I think the lights are brighter.

**Sixteen:**

"So, still enjoying your stay?"

"Yes." Did I mention I was stubborn?

"It's not too late to change your mind."

"How do I know you can even send me home?"

"He isn't the only one with Magic."

"......"

"You really shouldn't worry about his safety. Rumple is a big boy - he can take care of himself. You know who can't? About 32 people on a star ship called The Phoenix. Or how about the 10 billion people on a little planet called Earth?"

"Are you threatening me?"

"Not you. Then again - why should you care about people on the other side of the Universe?"

"Why should I even believe you can do anything to hurt them?"

"No reason." She leaned over and placed something on the floor near her. She smirked, then walked out. When the door closed I crawled over to what she'd set down, to get a closer look.

It was a chipped teacup.

**Seventeen:**

"It's another system! Can you slow the ship down?" _I'd not seen the bridge yet. I didn't know how he controlled our flightpath._  
"Certainly." _He just looked at me, a slight smile on his face as the ship slowed significantly._  
"How did you do that?"  
"I told you, dear."  
"Magic?" _I grinned._  
"Always."  
"I want you to tell me one day. I know I'm not advanced enough to understand it, but I would like to try." _I gave him a tolerant smile, and walked over to the Star Wall, as I liked to call it. If I got close enough, I could nearly eliminate the sides of the room from my field of vision. It was almost like flying, and my stomach did a slight flip-flop at the initial thrill of it. The star system we were near was small, but beautiful. The center of it was as large as any system's sun, but a brilliant blue instead of the usual bright white-yellow. A small ring of ice circled it._  
"It's beautiful, isn't it? I never look, anymore." _Surprisingly, I felt his voice right by my ear. My stomach did flip-flops again for another reason. I turned slightly to face him._  
"Why not?"  
"When you've lived as long as I have, you believe the Universe has nothing new to show you."  
"And is that true?"  
"Perhaps. This star is quite unique. It matches your eyes." _He placed a hand on the side of my face, toying with a lock of my hair. I blushed._  
"Thank you."  
 _He looked considerate._  
"This star will be named after you. It will always be yours."  
"Always? And millions of years from now, when someone else happens across this place - can you control what they'll name it, Rumplestiltskin?"  
"Trust me."

**Eighteen:**

"What did he do in this 'room' of his when you were there?"

"Read books, sometimes. Often he would just sit and stare."

"Out the window?"

"No. Just stare. I don't think he was seeing what was in front of him."

"Some kind of trance, then?"

"I don't know. He would respond if I spoke to him."

"Did he do any of his magic in this room?"

"What do you mean?"

"Did this room serve as his laboratory?"

"I don't think so. He had a wing of the ship set aside for himself. He forbid me to go there."

"And you never went? Not even to satisfy your curiosity?"

"No."

"I see."

 **Nineteen** :

"What does your name mean? Rumplestiltskin. It's very unusual."  
"A name is whatever you make of it, dear. Human language is very malleable that way."  
"But when you were born, or... named yourself that -- it must have meant something."  
"......it means 'wooden legs that make much noise'"  
"Are you... serious?"  
 _He nodded._  
"And did you give yourself this name?"  
"Of course not." _He gave me an incredulous look._  
"And you never wanted to change it?"  
 _A hurt expression._  
"Not that you should! It's... unique, like you. Very fitting."  
"I have gone by other names. For good or ill, this one will always be mine. I wanted you to know it."  
"Thank you."  
"Names are powerful. Remember that."  
"And do I have power over you now, Rumplestiltskin?"  
"None that I don't grant." A sly grin. "And you? What is the meaning of your...appellation?"  
"I thought you would already know."  
"I want to hear you tell me."  
"It means 'Beautiful'."  
"Fitting. Very fitting."  
 _I blush._

**Twenty:**

Names are power. I've not forgotten. I try to hold all these things to heart. He's older than I can imagine - surely everything he told me carries a wisdom that would serve me well. If I think his name, if I write it, if I say it enough - maybe he will hear. If he's listening.

Rumplestiltskin. rumplestiltskin. RuMpLeStIlTsKiN. rUmPlEsTiLtSkIn. rumplestiltSKIN. RUMPLEstiltskin. rumpleSTILTskin. **Rumplestiltskin**. _Rumplestiltskin_. Rumplestiltskin.

RUMPLESTILTSKIN.

**Twenty-One:**

"You know he used the the name he gave you quite widely, long ago. When I knew him."

"Oh?"

"Yes. Don't believe you're special."

"......."

"He's had human servants over the years. I've lost count of how many. A few I remember. Margie, Verna... James." She smirks. "I haven't caught your name."

"I didn't give it."

She studies me awhile, then shrugs. "No matter. It's not as though you're going anywhere."

"He will rescue me."

"You think he wants you? He did throw you out, yes? Or am I mistaken?"

"........"

She tips my chin up with a finger to look her in the eyes. It's the first time she's touched me in here.

"He knows you're here. He just doesn't care."

**Twenty-Two:**

"Is this a tea set?"  
He looks.  
"Yes."  
"Do you use it?"  
"Not for a very long time."  
"Do you mind if I try my hand at it?"  
"......"  
"It's just that... I saw one in a museum once, as a girl. I always liked the idea of having 'tea' with someone. It sounded peaceful, but they don't make them anymore. Tea sets - or tea. What does it taste like?"  
"You've never had tea?"  
 _I shook my head._  
"That's certainly something that needs to be remedied." _He waved his hand - a few small bowls appeared. One filled with dried leaves, the others with what looked to be cream and sugar._  
"It looks as though you're preparing to make a potion."  
"Care should be taken with tea."  
 _I watched as he caused water to appear in the pot with a wave of his hand, made it heat to near boiling with another. His motions were graceful and grandiose all at once. I had stopped paying attention to what he was doing and simply took in the beauty of his motions._  
"Your tea, my lady."  
 _I took the cup he held out. Sipped._  
"It's delicious."  
 _He bowed._  
"How is it made?"  
"This was made partly with the assistance of a panda - an animal from Earth, long extinct. The rich flavor comes from it's dung."  
 _I sputtered, coughing. The teacup fell from my hand onto the floor._  
"Oh no!"  
"Careful, dear."  
 _I reached for the cup._  
"It's chipped!"  
"No matter."  
"It is matter!"  
"It's just a cup" _The ghost of a smile._  
"It's a priceless treasure! And I've destroyed it." _I had felt myself begin to cry. Then I felt his fingers against my cheek, wiping the drops away with his thumb._  
"Tears, darling?"  
 _I shook my head, denying it even though there was staunch proof otherwise._  
"I think it adds character." _He took the cup from me with his other hand, examining it._  
"I think it's broken! Can't you fix it... with magic?"  
"Magic now, is it?"  
 _I could only stare at him._  
"I'll put it somewhere safe. Away from chance of further destruction."  
"Away from me, you mean."  
"As you wish."  
".........."  
"Care for another cup?"

**Twenty- Three:**

"He always was too sentimental for his own good."

"........"

"Teacups, this time was it? And what other rubbish did he keep around from his past conquests?"

She examined her nails. She came in with questions and tried to seem like she didn't care about the answers. If she didn't she wouldn't be here.

"I hardly remember. It's been so long."

"Isn't that what the little purpose of your exercise is?" She rattled the papers in her hand. "To remember?"

"Perhaps I need more time."

"Well you can certainly have that... Belle."

I started.

"Yes. I visited him recently. He was easy enough to find - hanging around that ridiculous malformed galaxy you seemed to like. We spoke of you. He told me your name."

"What... did he say?"

She shrugged.

"Not very much. I was hoping to make a deal with him in exchange for you, but alas, he didn't seem interested." A sigh. "So get comfortable, darling, it looks like you'll be staying here for an extended amount of time."

**Twenty-Four:**

How did I meet this woman?

I refuse to call her by her name. I asked once and she said I could call her "Queen". I said she was not my queen and asked again and she gave me a name of the same equivalent. So I call her nothing.

Rumplestiltskin was gone when she came to call. I thought that was only by was chance. Foolish.

"Oh! Wha... who are you?"  
 _She stared at me for a moment before ignoring my question._  
"I'm looking for Rumplestiltskin, but it appears I've missed him."  
"You know Rumplestiltskin?"  
"Oh yes, we're old friends."  
"How did you get in here?"  
"The only way. Magic."  
 _I remember feeling terrified. It had been months since I'd seen another soul._  
"Oh, girl - don't look at me so. I'm simply here to visit. Perhaps you can keep me company until he gets back."  
"I'll... yes." _Out of old habit, and lack of anything else to do (how could I have possibly made her leave?) I brought food and water out, and found her seated on a chair that had not been in the room before._  
"He should be back soon."  
"Good."  
 _My curiosity began to overcome distrust._  
"How do you know Rumplestiltskin?"  
"We come from the same place. The same planet."  
"I thought that his planet was too far away to get to. I thought... maybe he was the last of his kind"  
"Oh, dear child, has he told you nothing?"  
"Of what?"  
"Hmm. Well, how did you come to be here with him?"  
"He needed a maid."  
 _Her laugh echoed through the hall._  
"I see. Well, he probably desires the company - since he can't come back home."  
"What do you mean?"  
"He was banished from our world. Magic sickness, they call it. It's catching. I come occasionally to check his progress."  
"He's sick?"  
"Why yes. He does look a little green from time to time, no?" _She chucked. I decided I didn't like her._  
"How can he get better?"  
"True Love's Kiss."  
 _I must have seemed skeptical._  
"Don't you believe in magic, girl?"  
"I don't believe in things that can't be explained."  
"Well, He Does." _She considered_. "Perhaps he thinks you will be the one able to break his curse."  
"Oh, I don't..."  
"No, no. I don't believe you would. He's a very difficult man to love."  
 _I held my tongue._  
"I might as well go. I don't think there's anything to report." _She stood, and the chair vanished from beneath her. "I'll come back"_  
 _Walking away, she turned back and said over her shoulder_  
"In a hundred years or so"

**Twenty-Five:**

I don't know what madness took me, to trust that woman. Then again - it wasn't really trust, so much as a desperate desire to believe what she told me, even though I didn't believe in magic, then. Because I had started to love Rumplestiltskin - and I wanted to help him. He was always possessed by a certain melancholy, and I wondered if he missed his home... his family, maybe.

She also confirmed to me that Rumplestiltskin was much older than I could have imagined - and that life must come with such a burden. I wanted to carry it for him. I was too eager. And foolish.

**Twenty-Six:**

"I've been thinking about your magic."  
"....oh?"  
"Well, I mean - you call it magic, but can you tell me how it works?"  
"Some things can't be explained. Magic is part of me. I could explain the rules it follows, but how it works...no proof. Nothing scientific to make you believe."  
"Not in all your years?"  
"Not in all my years."  
"That must be discouraging."  
"........"  
"I think I could come to believe. I mean... there are things we still can't explain entirely. Things like... like love."  
 _He looked over, a sort of hesitant incredulity in his features._  
"Love?"  
"Yes. I think it might be the closest thing there is to magic." _I moved closer to him, and my palms were sweating. Did I dare this? "It might even be stronger."_  
 _He didn't blink, but swallowed and turned away._  
"I wouldn't know."  
"There's a way to find out." _I closed the small distance between us, placing my hands on his cheeks and turning him towards me as I placed my lips on his. I felt his skin beneath my hands tingle, and pulled back to look at him. His skin was changing, dissipating almost, to reveal a different face underneath._  
"It's working!"  
"What is?" _Breathless._  
"Magic!"  
 _He pushed me back, holding me at arms length._  
"What are you talking about?"  
"We can break your curse, Rumplestiltskin!"  
 _I had prepared myself for brokenness, laughter, tears... a number of things, but not for what happened._  
"Get away from me." _The ripples in his visage faded, and returned to normal._  
"But... Rumplestil..."  
"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU COULD HAVE DONE?"  
 _He pushed me away, but I stood frozen._  
"Get out! GET OUT!"  
 _I ran._

**Twenty-Seven:**

"You were too trusting. The thought of not using you against him seemed like such a waste."

"I've learned."

"Yes". A sigh. "A pity, that. You're beginning to outlive your usefulness."

**Twenty-Eight:**

I wanted so much to speak to him about what had happened. Why he reacted so badly. I was sure the woman who'd been there had lied to me - I should have seen it, but didn't stop to consider things enough.

I was scared, though. Shaken. I kept thinking I could put off talking to him until I felt more settled. He probably needed time, too. Then I would find him. Talk to him - but he found me first.

Walking around the corner in one of the corridors, he was simply standing there, leaning nonchalantly against the wall: calm, distant. I remember it clearly. This was the last time I ever saw him.

"Keeping busy?"  
"I... Rumplestiltskin, I need to speak with you."  
"No need."  
"But...."  
"Did you think I wouldn't know if someone else came onto my ship? That you could hide your little meeting with The Queen from me?"  
"The Queen?"  
"Don't play stupid, dearie - it's unbecoming on you."  
"She came here looking for you. I was going to tell you, but..."  
"And I thought you'd have come up with a better excuse by now. What did she promise you to betray me? You ought to know she really isn't one for keeping her word."  
"Nothing! I haven't betrayed you, I was trying to free you!"  
"Freedom? If you're set on the idea of freedom, worry not - you'll have it soon enough."  
"I - she said True Love's Kiss would free you. It was working, because I love you..."  
"Shut up!" _He grabbed my arm, began dragging me down the hallway._  
"Where are you taking me?"  
"You'll see."  
 _I was too afraid to speak. He was so angry. Maybe if I'd tried harder during those precious minutes it took us to reach the escape pods, things might have been different._  
"This capsule is programmed to send you through another wormhole much like the one that brought you here. You'll be home in a matter of days."  
"Please, Rumplestiltskin, I love you..." _He shoved me through the door of the pod, and I fell, looking up at him as he moved his hand to press the launch button._  
"No one can love me."  
 _Then he closed the door, and my little spaceship pushed away from the dock - according to him, rapidly returning me to my home._

I never made it.

**Twenty-Nine:**

"If you'd made it back to Earth you certainly would have never seen him again. At least this way you're closer. Perhaps you should thank me."

"........"

"So this is the end of your story? It is hardly interesting reading. Why - the two main characters barely even kissed at the end.

"........"

"Are you certain this is all you want to tell me? I can ensure your comfort if you give me more information. Your survival."

Rumplestiltskin had told me not to trust this woman. Even at his darkest, I believe he never told me lies.

"I have nothing else to say."

"So be it."

"Are you going to kill me now?"

"No." She laid all my collected papers down at her feet. "I'm simply going to let you die."

With that she walked out. If I'm killed, at least I won't have to see her anymore.

**Thirty:**

No more food today. And the shower and water dispenser have stopped - either this is another trick, or I really have been left alone to die in this room. This cell. Without water I'll die in days, and my flesh with rot and leave only my bones as a memory. At least I'll finally match the decor.

They haven't turned out the lights. I can still write. If I'm going to die in here then I don't want to be alone. So I write - and in my words Rumplestiltskin is here with me. I write to treasure our best moments, and our worst. I write to remember. I write my own eulogy - for surely nobody else will.

**Thirty- One:**

"Why are you so sure that this galaxy will always be named after me? Is it because you and I are the only ones who will ever lay eyes on it?"  
"Look at it this way." _He motioned, and in front of us appeared a hologram of the blue star. The view of it got further and further out, until I could see the entirety of the planets that circled it._  
"I don't understand."  
"The orbit of the planets: they circle the star, but there is a large moon - just there. It alters their trajectory. Within a lunar year, they move in this pattern..." _He gestured again, and the orbit of the planets were mapped out before me._  
"Oh! It looks like a bell!"  
"Just so."  
"Amazing." _The display he'd created was so realistic, I thought I could touch it and feel the planets in front of me - but when I tried my hand went right through them. He dismissed the image with a wave._  
"Eventually, all the stars will be named after you."  
"Why do you think that?"  
"Because they'll look at them, and call them beautiful."

**Thirty - Two:**

"You keep using that broken teacup"  
"And?"  
"You could cut yourself."  
A snort of amusement.  
"I never see it except when you make tea. Where are you keeping it?"  
"Someplace safe."  
"From me?"  
"From everyone. Only a very powerful magician can retrieve it." _Smirk._  
"Everyone. Yes, All The People." _I gesture._  
 _He sighed dramatically._  
"One might accuse you of being sentimental."  
"One might" _He glanced at me._ "But would one dare?"  
 _I giggled._  
"Perhaps."  
 _He took a sip from the cup._  
"I would advise against it."  
"And what would you do if I ignored your advice?"  
"Lock you up in a spaceship and force you to clean it for the rest of your natural life."  
"Sounds... redundant."  
"It's a system that has served me well enough. No need for change."  
"Hmm - so you like to keep with the things that are familiar?"  
"...Yes."  
"That seems rather sentimental."  
"......."

**Thirty-Three:**

"What are you doing?"  
"What does it look like I'm doing?"  
 _I was about 20 feet in the air, having scaled a wall of goods stacked up against the far side of the room I had recently discovered. It looked like what it was - a storage compartment - but I'd thought a being like Rumplestiltskin would have been able to make it more organized with a thought._  
"Endangering my belongings."  
"Tsk. So worried about your things. I won't hurt them."  
"You belong to me."  
 _His words gave me pause. For all that they were true, he seldom spoke so possessively._  
"I'll be fine. If I'm going to straighten out this mess I can hardly start from the bottom."  
"You're going to fall." _He observed dispassionately, taking a few steps closer._  
"I won't - "  
 _But I did._  
 _Right into his arms._  
"See?" _He closed his eyes, pressing his face into my hair as his fingers curled tightly around my limbs._  
"Rumplestiltskin..."  
 _I could feel and hear him breath in, nose still buried in my tresses._  
"Hmm?"  
"Thank you."  
 _He pulled back slightly to look at me, then set me down._  
"Of course."  
 _We stood there silently, awkwardly, for a moment._  
"Belle - if you need anything, just ask me. I'll always be there."  
 _I smiled._  
"I will."

I don't know if he will ever find out what happened to me, or see this, but if he does... I want him to know that I am not angry with him. I forgive him.

I forgive you, Rumplestiltskin. One cannot see the future. Time goes on forever, and all promises made must eventually be broken. My only regret is that I didn't know how to comfort you - how to stay with you in the face of acts separating us. I'm just a weak girl, a blip in the course of your years, but we were connected by more than circumstance, I'm certain of it.

I'm going to close my eyes now. Maybe for the last time. I'm very tired, and my mouth is dry - but I want your name to be the last word on my lips and my fingers.

Rumplestiltskin.

**Thirty - Four:**

They say in the afterlife you see a bright white light, and once again are surrounded by the people you love. I was used to the light, and I loved Rumplestiltskin.

So when the door opened to reveal him standing there, you can see why I thought I was in heaven.

Nightmare and dreams were blending, coloring my vision of him. He leaned with one hand braced against the door frame, body hunched as if in exhaustion, but disbelieving eyes bored into mine. He was covered from head to toe in blood. It dripped on the floor.

"Belle.." he breathed, staggering toward me. His hand left a trailing red print on the pale wall.

I couldn't speak. Couldn't move. I thought it was because I was dead. The image of Rumplestiltskin stumbled towards me, falling to his knees. He reached out a tentative, blood-soaked hand to touch my face. When he did, I felt the life flow back into me. I could breath. I could move, and I realized I wasn't dreaming.

"R-Rumplestiltskin?"

"Darling. You're here. You're here. I can't believe you're here." His head hung, wet curls hiding his eyes as his hands moved over me, leaving a path of red where they touched.

"Are you hurt?" I asked him.

He looked up, seeming only then to realize his appearance.

"No... the guards. They are dead."

"And... her?"

"Dead."

I'd never seen Rumplestiltskin kill a person. I would have thought if he did, it would be with the same calm, control and purpose I saw him exercise in most things. The story of his appearance said something altogether different. It was murder of blind, unthinking rage. I couldn't imagine what manner of death would cause it's executioner to be covered in the gore of his victims. I didn't want to, but still felt a sense of satisfaction for knowing it. I'm sure that makes me an evil person, but at the moment I do not care.

I stroked his hair, and he turned his head to kiss my palm, leaning further into my embrace. Everywhere he touched, he left the red stains. It's like he was taking me back from this room, bit by bit.

"I'm so sorry, Belle. So sorry."

"Shhh."

"I heard you, somehow. I didn't know you were here. If I had..." He trembled in my arms. "I should have been here for you."

He cried in my arms, and I held him as he made the white disappear. My gaze lingered on the pages littering the floor of the room that had been my prison the past three years.

"You were."

 


End file.
